Monday, September 27, 2010

Metal Fence-1 Me-0

Recently I started writing for a sports blog www.helmetandpadsrequired.com . I love football and writing at times so its a good fit. As I have been tackling the various issues that are prevelent in sports, it got me thinking about my own athletic ability (or lack there of) Most of the people that write on the blog have some history with sports. In fact the main guy David Johnson played for my beloved Aggies.
Well with full disclosure I have to say my sporting history is not that long or interesting. I can say I LOVE football and have watched it all my life. I havent really played though outside of flag football our private school played, which I took just as serious as real football even if I had to count to 3 Mississippi before I went after the QB. I also did throw up the game winning basket in basketball with out any style or grace and I believe the Pastor of the church school I went to made me into a sermon illustration about having heart.
So I say that to say that today was one of those moments that reminds me of how truly unathletic I am. I was running around at the park playing a lively game of "I'm Gonna Get You!" The basic rules are you look at your child and say "I'm gonna get you!" then proceed to chase them across the park playground. My son, Caden decided to add a wrinkle to the rules. Basically, if he drops to the ground like a opposum he is safe. Im not really sure where he came up with this idea but since we are the only 2 playing it seemed fair enough. Until......
Until there was a new player in our game I hadn't expected to join. I began to chase Caden at a high rate of speed or at least the highest rate of speed my almost 36 yr old legs would do. I am running full speed when Caden decides this is the time to hit the ground and duck and cover. Since my body is moving quite fast and his isnt I jump to avoid running into him. At this point I become airborne and in my mind Jordan couldnt have excuted a better jump in his heyday, though Jordan's landing was much better.
This is the point when everything slows down and I see everything in SLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOWWWWW MOOOOOOOOTIOOOON. As I am flying over my son and a small partition I notice what is fast approaching next member of our game...a metal gate. During my flight I begin thinking the ground would be softer if I can only get low enough I will hit the dirt. So make the best baseball dive Ive ever attempted in my life towards the ground only to meet the other member or our game head on! My wife said I was all legs as I flailed about through the air, and that she thought I was going to great lengths to get a laugh. I assure I was not but as I lay with my head pounding facedown in the dirt all I could think was Metal Fence -1 Me- 0. So while I may not be athletic enough to play I think I am happy just to write about it.